i'm sue, also xilin...or silvia, depends on the country
i'm 27, staying in china now, beijing. i like many things...see the first entry to learn more =)
favorite saying--DUM SPIRO SPERO
favorite book -- so many...
favorite passtime --a book, or a latin club and friends
favorite food---mama's "varen zrial bob"(bulgarian)favorite drink -- water. and baileys!!
favorite dream -- flying
favorite ..oh, i don't know
The Road goes ever, on and onDown from the door where it began.Now far ahead the Road has gone,And i must follow if i can,Pursuing it with eager feet, Untill it joins some larger wayWhere many paths and errands meet.And whither then?i cannot say
Columbia House
Contact Me
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Monday, May 31, 2004
apparantly it's much more difficult than i thought. there are alays things that i say that hurt and things he says that hust too. hard. sometimes i ask myself am i able to be happy , or will i ever be able to be it.i don't know. in the beginning it was heaven. now sometimes it seems to be hell. people used to say that discussions and disputes are like the salt in the relationship. ours is definitely being quite salty, i must admit. i don't know, i don't know....today i had the usual fight, i cried less, which was not usual, but i'm very happy about it, and that it was over. if there is one thing i like about fights is the great time when you make up. anyway. maybe one day i'll learn how to balance between all thi things i didn't have to say, i all the things i had to say, and i all the things i actually said and were good.
wish me luck.
Posted at 09:19 pm by Sue-Xilin
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
it's been some time since i didn't write.it's funny, how fast the time passes when you're happy,and how it drags when you're not.
the classes started again, and now i have to balance between him and the work. it's ok, but we had couple of fights for small insignificant things, only because we were tired. i had forgotten how hard can it be to be with someone. to pay attention to what you say, cause it might hurt, to think of "us", instead of just "me".
but it's great....it's all worthy when i go to see him in the evening and i kiss him and hug him hard. everything is alright then.it's like all the happy love stories...as Tolstoy said " all the happy families are alike, and all the unhappy ones are different." we are a boring happy couple.
let's see what will the future bring. =) Posted at 11:59 am by Sue-Xilin
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
sometimes you're walking thru life and thinking where i'm going. sometimes you stop ans watch the clouds passing, and ask yourself: are they ever gonna stop? sometimes you wake up in the morning and feel you don't wanna get up and start the new day at all.
sometimes you wish you have never been born at all.
but you never know what's gonna happen.
tomorrow might be THE DAY. with the capital D. where everything's gonna change. and the mornings will be full of light and the clouds will be all with silver lining.
you just never know.
keep on going.
Posted at 10:45 pm by Sue-Xilin
Monday, April 26, 2004
my skin just loves him...
his hands...my skin just cannot get enough of them. after this oh so long loneliness, after feeling lost and cold, it's soooo good to be with someone... who doesn't just come for the moment...people keep telling me "be careful." maybe they're right. maybe. i don't want to know. cause now and here, he's with me. and he says he wants to stay,he feels at ease with me, he says i make him feel good. i love his skin, the rough feeling of his hands, his hands are like no other hands. i love his breathing, i love his rhythm, i love his laugh, i love the look in his eyes...it's just so natural when he takes my hand. i...i'm simply a silly girl in love. it feels good.
Posted at 06:30 pm by Sue-Xilin
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
i wanna cut my hair again
i don't know what's wrong with me. i wanna cut it again. i'll end up being like a buddhist monk. does it show any crisis...does it show the coming summer with unbearable heat...i have no idea.
last night i couldn't sleep. had all kinds of weird nightmares. i was chased, i got lost,and i don't know what else. couple of night ago i dreamed of a crocodile that wanted to eat me. that's a very creative nightmare, i've never seen a real crocodile.somewhere i read that you have nightmares when you are sick, and you're body's trying to tell you that something's wrong. and i'm sick now, this stupid throat infecton that doesn't wanna go away. beijing's weather is so dry...
yesterday S. called me to go and have a drink in bla-bla bar. it was so nice...like the old times ( though it's only the 5th time i see him) , you go to see a friend after work, you alk about everything and anything, it doesn't really matter what you say, the thing is you get all the day's pressure off your mind and than you go happy to bed. but today i'm sitting here, in this net club, full of smoking chinese screaming "i'll kill you" ( playing CS) , and i'm dreaming of the time i'll have a computer at home =)))
yesterday S. said : i just want to be loved. that's the first time i hear someone to say that out loud. people hide it deep in themselves, afraid to admit that they're not.and i've never heard a man to say that. till yesterday. well, i hope he'll find somebody to love him. it's just that ... it's such a tiny possibility that the person you love in the moment loves you back in the same time...it happens so rarely...so i really understand all those intoxicated by the feeling people.. l'ivresse de l'amour it's time to go home.22:20h.tomorrow's a new day, new classes, then a new evening and i hope i'll sleep without nightmares.
Posted at 11:10 pm by Sue-Xilin
Saturday, April 17, 2004
 You should be dating a Sagittarius. 22 November - 21 December Your mate is frank and open, optimistic and honest. Though the Archer can display bouts of argumentative, impatient and critical behaviour, he or she is extremely adventurous in bed. What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To? brought to you by Quizillawho would have thought...désiré was sagitarius...niki was sagitarius...i hurt niki, and the other broke my heart. i guess that's what they call love. Posted at 08:09 pm by Sue-Xilin
i have my little sins
and he is one of them
we talked, we laughed , we kissed, and just one night we spent.
and maybe for the best,
i never saw him since.
but if you aske me to confess,
he was my sweetest sin
that's dedicated to A. but he'll never know it =)Posted at 07:20 pm by Sue-Xilin
oh, it's so good to go out sometimes...another blind date, that time it wasn't as disastrous as last time.much better. the guy was a friend of a friend, and behaved very well.that maybe comes from the fact that he was a diplomat and not chinese =) we went to club latinos ( love that place ) and stayed about 3 hours. the funny thing is athat i saw my friend's boyfriend. with another girl. or should i say, with other girls? the guy was wasted, and totally horny. walking around, hugging, kissing, feeling the butts of all the girls willing to pay attention to him. i was disgusted. when i saw him first a went to say hello, but another girl also came to say hello, and he started talking to her, so i backed off. then a third girl, sitting next to him, obviously expressed her impatience and jealousy, and he tried to comfort her for 5 minutes, explainig stuff, caressing her shoulders and everything.gross. he had spent the night before with my friend. later, on the dancing floor, he was next to me, happy to see a fat blond girl,said " oh, long time no see, i missed you", then he dragged her to the bar, and tried to sweet-talk her into something. there was a lot of kissing and caressing, but finally the girl pushed him away, and, quite dishevelled hurried back to the dance floor, waiving "no" with her hand. the guy later came to me and asked " so, how is that one...your friend...( he said her name, but it seemed as if he's trying to remember it.) horrible.well, given where's he from...he must have gone crazy with all the girls around,half naked, smiling,shaking their...everything,...=) i kinda pity him.
so about the guys i went out with. my blind date was kinda ok, but not my type. and way too much perfume.i had great conversations with him, and luckily he kept to the talking, and didn't try anything else.the friend who fixed that date...wow, he's gorgeous. but...c'est la vie. this is how things happen. you always like the ones that don't like you. as the chinese say " mei ban fa..." i'll be happy to keep him him at least as a friend. somebody to talk to, go out with sometimes...eh, life is a ... beach.
Posted at 05:30 pm by Sue-Xilin
Thursday, April 15, 2004
wow..that was a long day. tomorrow's friday, so at least i'm gonna sleep till 10 or 11...great. but it was a good day, there are some days where i simply LOVE my students.like today. in the highschool they were great, funny, answering my questions, participating, joking even in class. i had a student, nice girl, sally, talk with me all the time i was in the subway. all the time i pretended i didn't understand chinese at all. well, finally i said something in chinese , and you should have seen her face!! =)) she was so surprised!! =)) but then,,,the korean school...the kids were sweethearts, even after the class three of the girls ( little korean girls are just like dolls, perfect faces,shiny hair, sweet smiles,cuties) so three of the girls stopped me outside to put a flower ring on my finger =)) it's worthy to be a teacher even just for these moments, when you suddenly find yourself with so many children friends, when you go back to their simple and beautiful world =))
Posted at 11:40 pm by Sue-Xilin
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Inside the White House
(Live Report from the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. Whatis happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: Thatis what I want to know.
Condi: That is what Iam telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now what are you asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too Posted at 06:56 pm by Sue-Xilin
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